friends

i've been a little worried about addison and her school friends situation lately. a couple of times, she has expressed that certain girls in her class don't want to play with her or don't include her. as a mom, it breaks your heart to think that anyone would deliberately exclude or be mean to your child. the whole protector mode in me came out. i felt so sad and angry. and i felt in my heart of hearts that addison would not be mean to anyone there and couldn't understand how anyone would not want to play with her. i actually talked to her teacher about it. and apparently, the girls in her class this year are very clique-y and can be quite nasty and dramatic. i've been told there are 2 different cliques. and that addison really isn't tied to either one of them. cliques?!? at age 5?!? well, her teacher said that they start happening now. well, earlier in the school year, her teacher had told me that addison befriends everyone. at the time, i thought that was great! but i think now that we've been well into the school year, the cliques are even stronger and i get a sense that addison is just kind of floating around. i've actually witnessed at birthday parties the interaction that goes on.... these little girls are very chummy with each other and if addison tries to talk to them or join in with them, they kind of brush her off. sometimes she notices and sometimes she doesn't (thankfully). i think a lot of the time she is just oblivious to it. but as her mom and watching it happen firsthand, i just feel awful. i mean, really awful. no one wants to see their kid feel left out. but let me retract a little.. it's not like she doesn't have any friends at school (she plays with this girl olivia and this boy jonathon a lot). nor am i implying that these girls don't talk to her at all. she does interact and play with them occasionally. and nor am i saying that she's unhappy at school. she still likes school and has a great time there. so maybe i'm just making this a bigger deal than it really is. but after thinking about this a lot and i kept wondering why?? part of me wonders are they now recognizing that maybe addison looks different from them? do they play with people who look like them? she is the only asian girl. i have no idea. perhaps race isn't an issue at this point? maybe i reading too much into this?? i don't know. well, i did come across this little blurb from www.babycenter.com. this is an excerpt from an article called "The Power of Peers" and it was about 5 year olds.

.... A matter of choice

At this age, children find their own friends. They often pick pals with similar traits, patterns of play, interests, activities, or hobbies. Don't force a friendship if the chemistry isn't there. As with adults, not every child's temperament, personality, or style clicks with every other 5-year-old. Don't be overly concerned about how many friends your child has or whether or not he's popular. Some kids are happy to spend a lot of time with one best friend; other, more gregarious souls thrive on having many good buddies. As long as the friends have a positive influence on each other, stay out of it, says Denver-based pediatrician Edward Goldson, a member of the American Academy of Pediatric's committee on the psychosocial aspects of child and family health. "If you want your child to establish good peer relationships, then your job is simply to protect, observe, and let them flourish."....

so, i guess i'm just going to keep surrounding her with friends and playdates that she does enjoy playing with and vice versa and not worry about these cliques. i guess we'll just ride this out, but keep an eye out and just make sure that no one is being downright mean to her. she'll be with all new friends next year in kindergarten so it'll be a fresh start. and we'll just be sure to continue giving her lots of lovin' and confidence here at home.

i mean, seriously, how can you not want to be friends with this sweet thing?!...


my girl... i love her so.